Friday Flush, Issue 5

I’m filling in on this Good Friday, as Ken®’s contract prohibits him from working holidays.  As a tribute to hardworking Ken®, below is a jazz cover of the ’90s hit single by Aqua, “Barbie Girl.”

As always, feel free to forward us breaking news from the world of toilets and jazz for future flushes.


One-Year Mark

At the JAZZ TOILET headquartersHaving documented twenty-six jazz clubs housing more than twice the number of toilets and twenty-six translations of “Where’s the restroom?” in languages from Arabic to Zulu, we celebrate the one-year mark of the launch of JAZZ TOILET.  For the year ahead, I am cutting back on the TUESDAY TOILET TALKS to just the second Tuesday of each month.  Please stay tuned as I will be introducing new issues and staff writer Ken® will be continuing with the FRIDAY FLUSH.

For the occasion, my sister mailed me a 2013 calendar featuring “Toilets of the World.”  I look forward to filling the grids with deadlines and activities, starting with a celebratory lunch today for Ken® and men’s room correspondent KMac.  Now, I leave you with words of wisdom inscribed within my new calendar (underlines are my own).

 

Toilets of the World (Sian James and Morna E. Gregory)

Loo, john, dunny, bathroom, lavatory, outhouse, WC, longdrop, commodities, powder room, crapper, throne, porcelain god, washroom, toilet, can, urinal, facilities, pisser, comfort station, head, water-closet, little boys’ room, shitter, pot, nettie, bog …

So many names refer to the same mundane object. This boundless terminology reflects human beings’ natural fascination with the toilet. Taboo subjects that have provoked deep interest throughout the ages are known by many names—consider death, drugs and copulation, to name a few. Terms for the toilet all describe the smallest room in the house, in the backyard, on the boat, or elsewhere. This list is from English alone. To compile a complete list of toilet terminology from all languages would fill volumes. Regardless of how it is referred to, the universal aspect cannot be denied: every human being on earth uses the toilet.

Why toilets? The subject is not nearly as frivolous as it may appear at first glance. Toilets are bay windows with a view onto a given population. The term toiletology has yet to be coined, although the study of toilets provides a cultural and sociological analysis of the people who occupy different regions throughout the world. The variety of toilets in different countries is astounding. Toilets often (though not always) reflect the development of a given country or region via design, placement, material and mechanics. Aren’t toilets the same everywhere? In a limited geographical area, perhaps. On an international scale, toilets are very, very different.

The use of the toilet transcends all race, religion, age and social class. From the most impoverished to the highest royalty, each and every one of us bows to the basics of bodily function. Whether one does so in a ditch or on a jewel-encrusted throne, the result is the same. The president, the cashier, the supermodel, the writer, the lawyer and the farmer all find themselves subject to this most basic of acts. It is physical gratification from the earliest age on up. The act is philosophical—emptying the body empties the mind as well. For how many busy and stressed people is this moment one of the few instants of solitary relief, privacy and contemplation in an otherwise hectic day? Many people confess to having great thoughts, ideas and insights while seated on the toilet.

Through the pages that follow, take a fascinating and explicit voyage through societies around the globe. A deeper cultural understanding of the world is within reach via the most raw and honest tattle-tale of human civilization: the toilet.


Friday Flush, Issue 4

Folks, today I will cover the grooviest man alive at the intersection of jazz and toilets, John Hollenbeck.  The composer/drummer has contributed solid coverage of the best toilets to the jazz community at large in his 2010 review.  Below is just one of his descriptions of the top eight toilets (and urinals) from around the globe.  Don’t miss out on the full article from Ethan Iverson’s blog!

Karlsruhe Jazz Club in Germany (image courtesy of dothemath.typepad.com)

 

 

Keramag – Karlsruhe Jazz Club, Germany: Can’t go wrong with a nice green background! Keramag’s hipness creates a comfortable atmosphere where one can easily get in a “zone”.

 

 

A little birdie told me that Hollenbeck even had a Claudia Quintet album in the works with tracks named after toilets.  Righteous.  Unfortunately, the toilet companies shut that project down.

Mr. Hollenbeck, sir, keep up the good fight.

 

[EDIT] Dude, I saw that the Claudia Quintet released an album with some of the tracks named after toilet models after all.  Pick up a copy of Royal Toast to get hip to “Crane Merit,” “American Standard” and more.

 

Staff writer/model Ken® has appeared in the short, Hawaiian Vacation (2011), and numerous other features, making his first appearance in the 60′s.  He has been named (the boyfriend of) one of the most influential cultural icons of the century and is a true renaissance man, with skills ranging from leading safaris in the wild to shaving without gel in the concrete jungle.  Ken® currently resides in Manhattan but vacations frequently at his dream house in Malibu.


Thanksgiving

Reserved for JAZZ TOILETJAZZ TOILET is more than just a girl and her Ken® doll.  In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’d like to acknowledge the team that has been helping this blog run:

Eunice, Graphic Designer/Analyst
KMac, Men’s Room Correspondent
Angela, Advisor
Casey, PR Guru
Jack, West Coast Emergency Tech Support
Jo, Unprofessional Legal Advisor

Thank you also to the dedicated readers, the welcoming clubs and musicians/friends who contributed translations of “Where’s the restroom?” in their native tongue.  I must head downtown now to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


Friday Flush, Issue 3

Hey, did you all make it through Frankenstorm?  I’ve been chillaxin’ on hurrication on the Upper West Side and couldn’t believe the pictures of Sandy’s work in other areas, like lower Manhattan and Haiti.  It’s a bummer that it didn’t wash out all the rats from the city along with everything else.

They say this might be the beginning of ratpocalypse, with the storm driving underground rats up to spread infectious disease.  Should I be worried?  Check out the Huffington Post video below for the deets.

Staff writer/model Ken® has appeared in the short, Hawaiian Vacation (2011), and numerous other features, making his first appearance in the 60′s.  He has been named (the boyfriend of) one of the most influential cultural icons of the century and is a true renaissance man, with skills ranging from leading safaris in the wild to shaving without gel in the concrete jungle.  Ken® currently resides in Manhattan but vacations frequently at his dream house in Malibu.