Le Poisson Rouge

As I stood in line to enter Le Poisson Rouge (LPR), I wondered when I’ll be of the age where the bouncer only cards me to be polite.  As the proverbial saying goes, time flies and I haven’t really started checking out the contemporary classical/new music scene in the city nearly a year into my resolution.  To encourage myself to do so, I signed up for membership at LPR, a venue that presents the best in a range of creative music, including jazz and the avant-garde.  A newly minted member, I was able to catch Rudresh Mahanthappa’s ensemble Gamak free of the cover charge and feel official holding my gray membership card with a red fish on it.

Sorry to cut you out of the photo, Ken®LPR Women's sinkThough I hadn’t heard the saxophonist live before, I was already a fan of his incredible intensity and facility from listening on Myspace years ago.  This was a high-energy music, complete with fist pounding between Rudresh Mahanthappa and guitarist David Fiuczynski and a lot of sweat from bassist François Moutin.  The moppy-haired bassist had to constantly dry his head with a big towel and shook his head so much that I wondered if he felt dizzy or was losing brain cells.

Drummer Dan Weiss followed suit and had a towel around his neck by the last piece, perspiring from the abundant solos where he played the trap set more like a frame drum or tablas.  The guitarist switched between two double-neck electrics to play microtonal solos also invoking a world of influences.  The monstrous-looking guitars took some getting used to, even for a person easily excited by the sight of mutant strawberries.

LPR women's toiletLPR member cardA large venue with exposed pipes and vents overhead, Le Poisson Rouge has sizable restrooms to match its performance space.  Past the photo booth and the big, cushy, grungy-looking chairs, you’ll find the women’s room to your left and the men’s room straight ahead.  The women’s restroom has seven stalls, two hand dryers and a long sink with two faucets.  I preferred to use the faucet on the right with trickling water rather than the faucet on the left where I ended up splashing water all over.

The dim lighting proved a bit problematic as I had to take photos on my little video camera.  I did chant my mantra, “Zoom, cam, Ken®” as always to remind myself to bring my Zoom to record audio, camera to take photos and Ken® to model by the toilets but grabbed the wrong camera on my way out.  I must have been just out of it that day because I also got to LPR an hour early, thinking the show started at a different time than it did .

Jovana from Serbia tells us how to say, “Where’s the restroom?” in Serbian —

Gde je wc?


Friday Flush, Issue 6

I'm conforming to iWorld.Hey dudes and dudettes, I have exciting news for you all.

Check out my new digs—a pinstripe suit from our publication advisers Angela and Casey with a pair of navy oxfords to match!  Casey also got me what he thought was a “murse” but I think it’s a slightly oversized wallet.

Not only that, they got me a new iPhone.  What more could a toy ask for?  I want to give a shout-out and say thanks Casey and Angela!  You two are just far out.

Catch me in my new suit at our editor-in-chief’s commencement ceremony today, the upcoming summer weddings and the snazzier jazz clubs.

Glad for friends who get fashion.

This is my better side.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Staff writer/model Ken® has appeared in the short, Hawaiian Vacation (2011), and numerous other features, making his first appearance in the 60′s.  He has been named (the boyfriend of) one of the most influential cultural icons of the century and is a true renaissance man, with skills ranging from leading safaris in the wild to shaving without gel in the concrete jungle.  Ken® currently resides in Manhattan but vacations frequently at his dream house in Malibu.


Manhattan School of Music

“Odoriferous Manifestus!” exclaimed Steve Wilson, as he rushed back into our fifth floor lesson room yesterday.  He had stepped out to rinse his mouth of trail mix before playing his alto sax but couldn’t bear to go in, let alone near, the men’s room.  Welcome to Manhattan School of Music (MSM), one of the premier conservatories for jazz and classical music.

MSM 1st fl ladies roomMSM 3rd fl ladies, my favouriteIn just a couple weeks, I will be officially deemed a master of jazz by MSM and be halfway qualified to write for JAZZ TOILET.  It’s too bad that I am not also getting certified in plumbing, because then I would be fully qualified to write for this blog and employed.

In all seriousness, I’m grateful for the past two years and hopeful, as I get ready to graduate with a more concrete idea of how to make a living as a musician and a clearer vision of my artistry.  A can-do spirit abounds at this particular institution, whether due to pure inspiration or the necessity of having to create your own opportunities, especially if you are not one of the select department cronies.  Inspiration often springs from necessity, and there is great need in a school with scarce scholarships, limited practice space and faulty elevators.

 

MSM hosts a vast number of concerts throughout the year, many of them free and open to the public.  You will hear some of the most high-level jazz found anywhere in student recitals and Cafe Jazz performances.  If you visit, here is what you need to know about the bathroom situation –

Other than the restrooms inside the library, the newest facilities are located between Miller Recital Hall and Ades Performance Space, on the way to the adjacent dormitory building.  The ladies room on the first floor is ideal for times you need to get ready for a school performance, equipped with a wide counter and a full-length mirror.  The third floor one is a personal favorite, being the only ladies room with a window.  The other floor restrooms, going up to the sixth floor, are generally stinky and can be downright dangerous for men, as I illustrated at the beginning.  Note that the building uses the European system of numbering floors and thus, the first floor starts above ground level.*

MSM 6th fl ladies toiletMSM ladies stalls by Ades

Contrary to the perception of MSM as a strictly straight-ahead jazz kind of school, the master’s curriculum centers on Dave Liebman’s chromatic, “out” approach to improvisation.  And while the dogmatic theoretical process seems to be the opposite of the indefinite contemporary improvisation methodology I learned as an undergrad, the end result in performance can be similar.

Do you want cold water or cold water? (2nd fl ladies)Now that I’ve written this post summarizing grad school, rearranged the furniture in my tiny room, caught up on season 8 of How I Met Your Mother and started sewing my Macbook a thermal sleeve, I will work on my big band chart, choral conducting paper and other finals.  If anyone is looking to hire a procrastinator, send me an email.

Orundell from Guyana tells us how to say our key phrase in Creole.  Say hello to him when you walk by the security desk at the door.

Can I use your toilet? Can you tell me where’s your toilet?

 

*UPDATE: MSM has altered its floor numbering system so that the entrance level is now the first floor. Thus, it now goes up to the seventh floor instead of stopping at six. Also, since the new president has come on board at the end of academic year 2013, there have been renovations all over the building including in the old elevators. Lastly, Cafe Jazz has been rebranded as the Jazz Room Series.


ZirZamin

I walked in as The Bridge Trio announced their next tune, “125th and Broadway,” where I had just come from, a bit flustered that the trains weren’t running on schedule yet again.  Though I was on the fence about attending, I was sold once I learned that ZirZamin served breakfast tacos all night.

The place must be self-service at the bar, because nobody came to take my order at the table.  I didn’t feel hungry enough to get up to order the breakfast tacos so it ended up being an eggless Easter, but an enjoyable one nonetheless.  The entertaining trio bantered, took requests and made the audience feel at ease.  They played tunes with both curious and obvious titles, which bassist Max Moran and keyboardist Conun Pappas took turns introducing.

Joe Dyson, who had been placidly providing rock solid beats behind the kit, ran up to the mic in the blink of an eye and went on a tirade about how he would introduce the tunes too, if only he had a microphone.  I was in pleasant disbelief—it was like seeing a formerly fat person rip through the life-size poster of the before photo.  And if hearing the drummer talk wasn’t surprise enough, Joe even sang a song about salty dogs to close the set.

ZirZamin Left Side RestroomZirZamin Right Side Restroom

Hailing from the same high school in New Orleans, the members of The Bridge Trio have played together as one unit and together as sidemen with mentors from their hometown.  It’s great that they have the opportunity to be nurtured by mentors in a city with such legacy and tradition in an era where jazz is becoming increasingly institutionalized and mentorship on the bandstand, a rarity.

ZirZamin Left Side SinkZirZamin Left Side Toilet

To your left before you enter the back music room, you will see two unmarked narrow black doors to the unisex restrooms.  The smallest freestanding restrooms I’ve observed thus far, I got a core-strengthening workout twisting my body into unusual positions to take photos in the claustrophobic space.  Watch out for the steps when you go through the double curtains to the back; I tripped both times in the dim lighting.

Though the venue acknowledges that it can’t be all things to all people, it presents an unclear identity in seemingly trying, with a menu offering Austin-inspired fare, the tagline “subterranean music parlour” using British spelling, and the name ZirZamin meaning underground in Farsi.  Samira from Iran tells us how to say, “Excuse me, where is the restroom?” in Farsi –

Bebakhshid dastshoui kojast?


Friday Flush, Issue 5

I’m filling in on this Good Friday, as Ken®’s contract prohibits him from working holidays.  As a tribute to hardworking Ken®, below is a jazz cover of the ’90s hit single by Aqua, “Barbie Girl.”

As always, feel free to forward us breaking news from the world of toilets and jazz for future flushes.